I'm joining the It's all in the voice blog hop. Here is the first page of my science fiction romance THE LEGACY OF THE EYE, currently at the querying stage.
Chapter 1--Proposal
The front entrance of the Academy of Demia loomed beyond a sea of gravel, less than a hundred feet away. Just the thought of walking through those gates for the first time churned Catrine's empty stomach. Her eyes adjusted to the brightness outside the main school building. She should have worn a hat.
The heavy pine door slammed shut behind Catrine and she turned toward David. After sixteen years at the Academy, her best friend looked ready to conquer the galaxy.
"Relax," he said.
How? Like all children on the planet, Catrine had not left the school since her enrollment at the age of two. And their future hinged on how well they could argue for the Tutor Program.
"Maybe we should go over your speech one more time," she said.
David's smile dimmed. "We went over it five times just today."
"Four. And you're still forgetting to mention that the tutors will be traveling to their pupil's home planet. That's a big point in the proposal."
"Do you want to give the speech?"
Her inside twisted in knots. "No."
"Then stop fretting. If the council hadn't liked our idea, they wouldn't have requested an audience."
"They probably read the proposal once. How much do you think they grasped? You've read it a dozen times and you still forget some of the details. I should have made you write it."
David's smile returned, brighter than ever. "Then it wouldn't have been perfect."
"Or written at all." But Catrine could not keep the corners of her mouth from twitching.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Opening: DEAR KATHERINE
I'm joining the It's all in the voice blog hop. Here is the first page of my unfinished novel DEAR KATHERINE, a science fiction/women's fiction hybrid.
Chapter 1--Millanos
My life began the day I turned eighteen and fell off a planet for the first time. Up until I left school, I hadn't started living--I had just existed.
By the time I landed on Millanos, I had fallen on and off most of the colonized planets in the Tetracoil Galaxy. But even after fourteen years, I still felt exhilarated every time the synchrotron powered down and gravity took hold of the spacecraft. The adrenalin rush from those seven minutes of free-fall, not knowing if the hovering jets would engage in time, lasted me days.
My heart was still racing when the hatch opened and fresh air rushed into the passenger cabin. I smelled brine in the air--my first greeting from Millanos. I unfastened the straps holding me to the seat and stretched my back. Through the internal passageway, I could see the three pilots moving around the cockpit. One of these days, I would learn to fly just to be able to ride in the front seats. But first I had nine more planets to visit and Millanos was just a few steps away.
I collected the single duffle that contained all my possessions and shouted a “thank you” toward the cockpit. I had paid them in advance, so there was no point in disturbing their crosscheck protocol. And after six and a half hours in the confined cabin, I was more than ready to be outside. That wormhole was a long one.
Chapter 1--Millanos
My life began the day I turned eighteen and fell off a planet for the first time. Up until I left school, I hadn't started living--I had just existed.
By the time I landed on Millanos, I had fallen on and off most of the colonized planets in the Tetracoil Galaxy. But even after fourteen years, I still felt exhilarated every time the synchrotron powered down and gravity took hold of the spacecraft. The adrenalin rush from those seven minutes of free-fall, not knowing if the hovering jets would engage in time, lasted me days.
My heart was still racing when the hatch opened and fresh air rushed into the passenger cabin. I smelled brine in the air--my first greeting from Millanos. I unfastened the straps holding me to the seat and stretched my back. Through the internal passageway, I could see the three pilots moving around the cockpit. One of these days, I would learn to fly just to be able to ride in the front seats. But first I had nine more planets to visit and Millanos was just a few steps away.
I collected the single duffle that contained all my possessions and shouted a “thank you” toward the cockpit. I had paid them in advance, so there was no point in disturbing their crosscheck protocol. And after six and a half hours in the confined cabin, I was more than ready to be outside. That wormhole was a long one.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Finished
I wrote a post a few years ago about making decisions based on the 80% rule. Last year, I decided to apply it to my novel. Once I had the story as complete as I could make it, I sent it out to a few people. Their comments showed me how confusing the manuscript was and I plunged into revisions to answer all their questions.
My next step, once I decided I had finished revising, was to seek critiques from other writers. That opened a whole new world of questions and edits to address the age-old adage of show not tell. During this next round of revisions I also focused on writing technique. There was so much I did not know about point of view and story structure.
Then once again I decided the novel was finished and I set out to query agents. The replies I received sent me back to the revising board. I changed the opening, moved the inciting incident forward and humanized the dialogue. Enticing was the goal. Fellows writers chimed in and helped me tightened the first pages. And once again I sent the full manuscript out for critique. The comments I received asked for details to be added in a few places where transitions were too brusk,so I revised problematic chapters to help with the flow.
But in the end the story is what it is. Some people like it, some do not. I accept that. My favorite criticism this last round was "the problem with this book is that characters get too excited about libraries." The major concern in the world I created is the loss of knowledge. That Library is the first one in four hundred years. My characters think that Library is important and I agree with them. But I can understand others might not.
My quest right now is to find like-minded people, because, as far as I can tell, this novel is complete to the best of my ability.
My next step, once I decided I had finished revising, was to seek critiques from other writers. That opened a whole new world of questions and edits to address the age-old adage of show not tell. During this next round of revisions I also focused on writing technique. There was so much I did not know about point of view and story structure.
Then once again I decided the novel was finished and I set out to query agents. The replies I received sent me back to the revising board. I changed the opening, moved the inciting incident forward and humanized the dialogue. Enticing was the goal. Fellows writers chimed in and helped me tightened the first pages. And once again I sent the full manuscript out for critique. The comments I received asked for details to be added in a few places where transitions were too brusk,so I revised problematic chapters to help with the flow.
But in the end the story is what it is. Some people like it, some do not. I accept that. My favorite criticism this last round was "the problem with this book is that characters get too excited about libraries." The major concern in the world I created is the loss of knowledge. That Library is the first one in four hundred years. My characters think that Library is important and I agree with them. But I can understand others might not.
My quest right now is to find like-minded people, because, as far as I can tell, this novel is complete to the best of my ability.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Write to sleep
I was up until two in the morning putting thoughts on paper. A new story, completely separate from the science fiction world in which I have been living for the past few years. I finally broke down and bought a journal to shelter these new characters, mostly with a wish to get them out of my head so I can finish the other books.
The reason I started writing all those years ago was to be able to sleep. To end the reruns of scenes playing out before my eyes. To quiet the voices dialoguing in my head. Characters who torment me with their lives until I give them resolution, then return to make sure things played out right. How many times depends on the scene, the story and the characters. Some torment me for days, others for months and years. Until I write them down.
Hence, I collect journals. Each houses their own set of characters, living their own intricate lives. Most of the time the scenes are placed on the page in the order they popped into my head. This time I waited until the story thread was complete, until I knew where they came from and where they finished, even if the details are still vague.
I started at the beginning and wrote all the way to the end, noticing the ink flowing on the page more than the minutes flying through the clock. For four hours I let my hand outline the events, adding detail only when I had a clear picture of what was happening. I noted questions to answer later; I summarized when I just knew where I wanted the characters to go. By the end I was exhausted, drained, but relieved. I could sleep.
The reason I started writing all those years ago was to be able to sleep. To end the reruns of scenes playing out before my eyes. To quiet the voices dialoguing in my head. Characters who torment me with their lives until I give them resolution, then return to make sure things played out right. How many times depends on the scene, the story and the characters. Some torment me for days, others for months and years. Until I write them down.
Hence, I collect journals. Each houses their own set of characters, living their own intricate lives. Most of the time the scenes are placed on the page in the order they popped into my head. This time I waited until the story thread was complete, until I knew where they came from and where they finished, even if the details are still vague.
I started at the beginning and wrote all the way to the end, noticing the ink flowing on the page more than the minutes flying through the clock. For four hours I let my hand outline the events, adding detail only when I had a clear picture of what was happening. I noted questions to answer later; I summarized when I just knew where I wanted the characters to go. By the end I was exhausted, drained, but relieved. I could sleep.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Revising
Instead of whining about describing my woes with revisions (novel, query letter, logline), I figured I should share the PhD comic posted today. Apparently this is a universal phenomenon.
If my novel is ever published, I must convince Jorge Cham to draw my book trailer like he did for this thesis.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Helpful
I thought it was hard to write a novel until I started revising the one I wrote. Apparently, revision is the process where you take the words on the page and polish them until they reflect what is in your mind. Not a feat I could accomplish alone.
I submitted several chapters to Critters.org and the folks over there are amazingly helpful. They tore down my first few chapters and helped me rebuild a stronger structure. Criticism at its finest, as long as you think of words as hair: a trim will help it grow back stronger.
After the first full-length critique I even felt brave enough to type "The End" -- after I added a few more chapters on characterization to the beginning. And the folks at Unicorn Bell helped me polish up the first page of chapter 1 so it shines. I am extremely grateful.
Now there is more to finishing a novel than just the actual novel. I have been working on loglines, blurbs, and query letters. How to condense a 85,000-word book into about 50, 150 or 250 perfectly crafted words. I learned so much in Laurie Schnebly Campbell's BookBlurb class, it was full of marketing tricks. I also received very helpful critiques at Unicorn Bell and from Michael Ehret at Novel Rocket.
So here is my logline, in case anyone is curious:
I submitted several chapters to Critters.org and the folks over there are amazingly helpful. They tore down my first few chapters and helped me rebuild a stronger structure. Criticism at its finest, as long as you think of words as hair: a trim will help it grow back stronger.
After the first full-length critique I even felt brave enough to type "The End" -- after I added a few more chapters on characterization to the beginning. And the folks at Unicorn Bell helped me polish up the first page of chapter 1 so it shines. I am extremely grateful.
Now there is more to finishing a novel than just the actual novel. I have been working on loglines, blurbs, and query letters. How to condense a 85,000-word book into about 50, 150 or 250 perfectly crafted words. I learned so much in Laurie Schnebly Campbell's BookBlurb class, it was full of marketing tricks. I also received very helpful critiques at Unicorn Bell and from Michael Ehret at Novel Rocket.
So here is my logline, in case anyone is curious:
Top graduates ever from the Academy of Demia, David and Catrine were a team until he discovers she is next in line for a hereditary throne -- one that should not even exist on a planet that valued merit over birthright.
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