Christmas writing song

It's been a while since I made up song lyrics, so this contest at MSFV was the prompt I needed. Here is my writer's version of Jingle Bells for your enjoyment:

Dashing through the words

On a newly open doc,

Over the keys I go

So many things amok.

Cell on tabletop rings,

Ignoring it I sigh,

What fun it is to write a sin-

gin' manuscript tonight!

Delete this, Delete there,

Change it all the way.

Oh! what fun it is to write

On another open page.

Typin' here, typin' there,

Typin' all the way.

Oh! what fun it is to write

On another open page.

A day plus two ago,

I thought I'd swallow pride.

Nowhere my trusty muse,

Was seated by my side.

The story lean and lank,

To be trunked seemed its lot.

I got stuck and my mood sank,

And nothing seemed upshot.

A month or two ago,

The story I need'd tell

I typed faster than slow,

'Fore in a slump I fell.

No words came zooming by

On the empty open page,

My muse taken for a lie,

Scenes quickly died away.

Now the page is white

And the night is young,

Put the words in sight

and hum this writin' song.

Just get a cup of tea,

No more block to fend,

My muse shines just for me,

And smack! I'll type the end.

Check out the other holiday songs writers came up with on the MSFV blog. I found the lyrics for Jingle Bells here, and you can read my other lyrics here. If you like the nail artwork, the Jamberry wraps are called Newspaper and Reindeer Games.

Revising

Instead of whining about describing my woes with revisions (novel, query letter, logline), I figured I should share the PhD comic posted today. Apparently this is a universal phenomenon.

If my novel is ever published, I must convince Jorge Cham to draw my book trailer like he did for this thesis.

My Favorite Things

Well thought ideas that bring in grant money
Good looking data is sweeter than honey
Challenging projects that come out in print
These are a few of my favorite things

Heated discussions at GRC meetings
Puzzles and models damn right down intriguing
Smart people talking and networking
These are a few of my favorite things

PCR products that clone on first trying
Wacky ideas that set my thoughts flying
Brand new equipment for highthroughputing
These are a few of my favorite things

When the gel cracks
When the lab stinks
When the data is crap
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so mad

Here is some help on the sing-along:
(If you haven't heard much Pomplamoose, check them out here.)

I could have slept all night...

Bed! Bed! I couldn't stay in bed!
My house's too loud to try to settle down!
Sleep! Sleep! I couldn't sleep throughout.
Due to all the callings from the fawn!

I wished I'd slept all night!
I could have slept all night!
And still have slept some more.
Between one's potty trip,
The other's water sip
Just like the night before.

I never know when there'll be howling;
When all at once I'll wake in fright.
I only know when he
Began to call for me
I wouldn't sleep,
sleep more all night!

I could have slept all night!
I should have slept all night!
And still have slept some more.
I wish I'd closed my eyes
And let out some sighs
My head just not as sore.

I'll never know
Why my mind goes wondering.
Why all at once my thoughts take flight.
I only know when three
Shows on the clock at me.
I could not sleep, sleep more last night!

We can not stay up late,
Just like on our third date.
No days like those afore.
Now there is house and kids,
And other thousand things
We did not have before.

I never thought
Things changed dramatically.
How all at once our life took flight.
But then you roll towards me,
And whisper your plea
Who needs sleep, just sleep, tonight?

For the music check out the following YouTube video. This one has Audrey Hepburn singing, not the dubbed version from the movie.

Joining the club

Better yet, Science Scouts. I figured I earned some badges through the years, so here are the ones I'm proud of:

The “talking science” badge was easy to get. I probably deserve a level 2 for marrying a scientist and talking science at meals & at bedtime... but then with kids and all I might be getting a little rusty.





As my PhD training was in Plant Molecular Biology, I can definitely say that the “plant kingdom rules!”.






Plant biology certainly has perks that most scientists don't appreciate. The “I’ve eaten what I study” badge comes from some very tasty green tomatoes.




But just because you can eat your model system doesn't mean your science will actually improve it. I've earned the “I’ve done science with no conceivable practical application” badge. Lots of fun, but very hard to sell to funding agencies... they don't quite buy the maybe.



I got the “I’m pretty confident around an open flame” badge recently, after setting the flow hood on fire twice and flaming my gloves once.





I fully deserve my “cloner” badge. And for my name on some high impact publications, I might even clone YFG for you...



Then, here are the ones I might have been better off without:


I got the “broken heart for science” badge for not being able to finish my PhD in under a year and move to Paris... I'm definitely better off without him.




The “what I do for science dictates my having to wash my hands before I use the toilet” badge. But that should be the least of my worries...

My Fair Labby [UPDATED]

Wouldn't It be Loverly?

It's rather fun right now, can't think about Paree.
Mmmmmm.
The PI will be startin' up
A project jamboree.
No chance I'll be allowed a break to go an' pee!

Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly?

All I want is a bench somewhere,
Far away from the lab in there.
Don't even need a chair,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Lots of mutants for me to seq',
Lots of time on FPLC.
Me gels, me blots, me reads,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-fuckin'-lutely still.
I would never grudge if spring
Crept over me windowsill.
No one's 'ead peakin' o'er me,
Peace an' quiet as one can be.
'ho cares to go with me,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly

UPDATE: After Professor Anonymous' wonderful version of Grease, I decided to add the video for sound effects:

This version has Julie Andrews' voice dubbing Audrey Hepburn, which I thought was a great addition...

BBC's book list meme

In April 2003 the BBC's Big Read began the search for the nation's best-loved novel, here are the top 100 nominated books. Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of them. I've read 24, not that bad... Which ones have you read?

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.
2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien x+
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen x+
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams x
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling x+
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne x
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis x+ (I read the whole Narnia series)
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens (started 3 times, can't remember if I finished it... partial credit?)
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott x
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres *
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling x+
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling x+
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling x+
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien x+
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll x
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett * (I've read World without end first)
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl x
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson x
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen x+ (My favorite Austin novel)
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen x
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery x+ (I've read the whole series)
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas * (I read the 3 musketeers)
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell x+
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett x
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden *
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding x
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho x
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer x+ (The prodigal daughter is great too)
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot x (I've actually read the whole series)
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

SOP for FSP

I submitted this entry to Female Science Professor's Statement of Pupose contest.


I am applying for admittance into the _______ Graduate Program at University _________. My main interest is studying the origin of life and molecular evolution. You may be wondering why I'm applying for a physical sciences program instead of a biological sciences one, but I am convinced your program is the right one for me.

I have been interested in the origin and evolution of living things for many years and I chose my undergraduate biology department with particular care. My professors were quite knowledgeable, even though most classes were given by TAs (which were not that bad). However, when I expressed my interest in studying the origin of life I was informed that I needed a Noble Prize to be taken seriously. I was not discouraged by this information, and it has led me to apply to your program.

I am convinced that the scientific studies in your program are the kind of research that gets the people in Stockholm to reach for the phone. I would be especially interested in working with Dr. FSP, as her work in ________, __________, &_________ are particularly favourable to the Noble Prize. Not many women have been awarded the Noble Prize and I believe people are starting to notice. Tides will change and I need to be ahead of that wave.

As we celebrate Darwin's 200th birthday next year, I hope to be enrolled in your graduate program and on my way to the success I need to fulfil my dream. With a graduate degree from University _________ I am sure I will be making contributions to our knowledge on the origin of life before Darwin turns 250!