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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Life as my alter-ego

I wrote a short story while in college about a girl who switches places with her alter-ego for a day. They go about their day as they would normally, but their different attitudes impact their surroundings. They slightly modify each other's life, mainly by creating or dismissing opportunities. I was trying to work out that the little things in daily life could have an impact in my future just as much as the big decisions I made. These small doors that open and shut each day, and go mostly unnoticed...

My major goal in college was to turn into the person I wanted to be - not only heading towards a carrier in science, but also stepping out of the shy and introverted persona I had acquired through middle- and high-school. I wanted to stop living in my mind: I wanted to be the person who lived in my mind - the one who did the same things but differently...

Looking back, the turning point happened after I took a philosophy course. I felt lost as the physical world crumbled around me. Like Sophie, my mind opened up to the possibilities and nothing seemed real anymore. It took me a week or two to recover from that surreal experience, but the person who stepped back into the world was not the one who left it. I was more attuned to the world around me and more proactive.

Some days I still wonder where I would be if I had made different choices, but I don't regret any of the ones I made. The scenarios that pop into my head are not any more enticing than the world in which I live. The things I would have to do without are more important to me than what I would maybe gain. But it is still fun to think about the possibilities, and what life would be like as my alter-ego...

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